I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
