Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
