dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I should be sponsored by Trojan
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
