If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Your cock deserves a montage
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
