Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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