Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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