i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
