Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
