I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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