I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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