There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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