the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
