38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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