A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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