I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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