i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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