So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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