i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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