I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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