Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
