therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
