Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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