I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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