I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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