she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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