went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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