didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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