If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
