girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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