it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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