You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
