idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
