Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
