rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
