She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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