My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
