Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
