Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
