i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
