Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
