you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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