Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
