Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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