Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
