I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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