I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
