Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
