All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
