I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I touched a dick in church today
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