ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
