She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize