its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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