I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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