I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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