I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
