Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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