Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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