Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
