So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
